Trauma & PTSD
Online therapy across Washington State.
A steady, relational approach to understanding how past wounds shape your present connection.
Trauma doesn’t stay neatly in the past.
It shows up in the present — in your reactions, your communication, your nervous system, and the way you reach for (or pull away from) the person you love. You may be functioning on the outside, but inside you’re navigating a constant push‑pull between wanting closeness and needing protection.
Something in your relationship feels harder than it should. Trauma changes how safety is felt, how conflict is interpreted, and how connection is built — structured guidance for navigating your role in relationships.
How Trauma Shows Up in Relationships
Trauma and PTSD often weave themselves into daily life in ways that feel confusing or unpredictable. It can look like:
shutting down during conflict
reacting intensely to small misunderstandings
feeling numb, distant, or disconnected
becoming overwhelmed by emotions that feel “too big”
misreading your partner’s tone or intentions
feeling unsafe even when nothing is “wrong”
struggling to stay present during difficult conversations
These responses aren’t character flaws — they’re survival strategies that once protected you.
What You’ve Been Carrying
Living with trauma often means living with a nervous system that doesn’t get to rest. You may feel like you’re constantly scanning for danger, bracing for impact, or trying to keep everything “normal” so you don’t get overwhelmed.
If you’re the partner supporting someone with trauma, you may feel unsure how to help — wanting to be steady, but also feeling confused, shut out, or emotionally drained.
Both experiences make sense. Both deserve support.
What’s Really Going On Beneath the Reactions
Trauma responses are not overreactions — they are old survival patterns showing up in present‑day moments. When your nervous system senses threat, even if the threat isn’t actually there, it can trigger:
fight (defensiveness, anger, intensity)
flight (avoidance, overworking, distraction)
freeze (numbness, shutdown, disconnection)
fawn/fix (appeasing, over‑functioning, caretaking)
Understanding these patterns is the first step toward changing them.
In therapy, we slow down the moments where things get stuck so we can understand what’s happening underneath.
Together, we explore:
how past experiences shape your current reactions
the exact moments where communication breaks down
what your nervous system is trying to protect you from
how trauma impacts your ability to feel safe with your partner
the patterns you both fall into when things escalate
what needs to shift for connection to feel possible again
This is structured, steady work — and I guide the process so neither partner has to navigate it alone.
What We Explore Together
How I Support Each Partner
For the partner carrying trauma: I help you understand your nervous system, your triggers, and the protective strategies you’ve relied on for years. You’ll learn how to regulate in real time, communicate your internal experience, and build safety without abandoning yourself.
For the partner supporting a trauma survivor: You’ll learn how to recognize distress signals, respond without taking reactions personally, and stay grounded without over‑functioning. You’ll gain clarity on what helps, what doesn’t, and how to support without losing yourself.
Both partners have a role in healing — and both deserve tools.
What Changes Over Time
As we work together, couples often begin to experience:
fewer escalations and shutdowns
more clarity about what’s happening internally
increased emotional safety
communication that feels calmer and more honest
a shift from reactivity to responsiveness
a deeper understanding of each other’s inner world
a relationship that feels like a secure base, not a battleground
Healing doesn’t erase the past — it changes how the past shows up in the present.
When You’re Ready
You don’t have to keep navigating these patterns alone. You don’t have to keep guessing why you react the way you do. You don’t have to keep walking on eggshells or bracing for impact.
When you’re ready, we can map out a path toward steadiness, clarity, and connection — together.
